Archive Article
Who is parenting and how
MAJOR REPORT - APRIL 2003 |
MAJOR REPORT - APRIL 2003
Parenting is a big issue in our communities. As more of us choose to have children outside traditional two parent heterosexual relationships, new family forms are appearing without the social or legal categories to recognise them.
We use the following terms to try to be clear about who is undertaking what roles and to differentiate between relationships which are legally recognised and those which are not.
While biological mothers are legal parents, biological fathers may not be. Biological fathers who have chosen to have children with lesbian mothers through donor insemination (DI) are not legal parents. Such men may undertake any number of roles across a spectrum of involvement, from meeting the child on a single or limited number of occasions, to regular contact, or an involved and active parent figure.
We acknowledge that many parents would not use such terms to describe their own relationships – for instance many lesbian couples who came to consultations reported that they thought of themselves, and both referred to themselves, as “mothers”, while many men who are biological fathers felt hurt or offended at terms such as “donor” or “donor-dad”. We use the following terms in this paper to make different social and legal roles clear in the course of our discussion. We are not recommending that these terms be used in legislation.
| Biological mothers |
|---|
| Non-biological mothers who have jointly planned, conceived and raised a child with a female partner |
| Biological fathers |
| Non-biological fathers who are co-parenting a child from birth with a male partner who is the biological or adoptive father |
| Co-mothers and co-fathers who are parenting equally with a partner who is the biological or legal (eg adoptive) parent of the child. |
| Partners of a parent who has had a child in a previous relationship |
| Biological fathers through donor insemination who know, but have little involvement with, a child they have helped create |
| Biological fathers who have involvement, and regular contact, with their children |
Yes, we know, it is confusing.