Family is Family is Family

Contents:

How the law affects our families
Changing the law
Lesbians and gay men as parents: what the research says
How the law affects our lives? A comparison
What you can do

It is not having a gay and lesbian parent that disadvantages a child; it is the government’s discriminatory laws.

Lesbians and gay men have always had children. Many lesbians and gay men are having children through formal and informal arrangements such as fertility clinics and donor insemination. Lesbians and gay men also have children in their care from previous heterosexual relationships. Recent surveys show that over 20% of lesbians and 10% of gay men are already parents and that many more want to have children in the future.

Although NSW has recognised lesbian and gay defacto relationships as equal to heterosexual defacto relationships, this recognition has not flowed through to the relationships between lesbians and gay men and their children.

How the law affects our families

• Members of a same sex couple cannot both be legally recognised as parents. This means that the non-biological parent is not recognised by the law as a parent, even though he/she may be the main carer of the child. This may affect whether the child will automatically inherit property or superannuation from this parent at their death.
• The non-biological parent cannot adopt the child without the birth parent, their partner, giving up all parental rights, even when there is only one legal parent.
• Access to donor insemination clinics is not universally available to lesbians.
• Upon the breakdown of a relationship between parents issues of residence and contact are more uncertain for lesbian and gay parents than for heterosexual parents.
• Adoption is not an option for lesbians and gay couples – although gay men and lesbians are able to adopt as individuals.
• The Human Tissue Act 1983 (NSW) prevents most gay men from legally donating sperm. In the case of donating to a known woman, a gay man is required to go through lengthy testing procedures that are not applicable if he were a man donating to his female wife or female defacto partner.

The lack of recognition encourages discrimination, including violence and harassment, against gay and lesbian parents and their children.

Discrimination is never in a child’s best interests.

Changing the law

The Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby (GLRL) report, And then the Brides Changed Nappies (April 2003) outlines several law reform options that would recognise the relationships of gay and lesbian parents with their children.

The report is based upon several months of research and extensive community consultation undertaken by the GLRL.

We are urging the NSW government to implement the following recommendations:

1. Amend the Status of Children Act 1996 (NSW) to make the definition of de-facto partner gender neutral. This will deem consenting co-mothers of Donor Insemination (DI) babies born to lesbian couples as parents in all NSW laws.
2. Amend the Births Deaths and Marriages Regulations 2001 (NSW) so that co-mothers of DI children can be listed as the second parent on birth certificates.
3. Change the Adoption Act 2000 (NSW) to make the definition of de-facto partner gender neutral so that gay and lesbian parents can use the current step-parent adoption provisions when they are actually in the position of step-parents.
4. Change the Adoption Act 2000 (NSW) to include a new provision for “co-parent adoption”. This will allow gay and lesbians co-parents to adopt with a presumption in favour of adoption where there is only one legal parent.
5. Introduce a simple and inexpensive mechanism by which lesbian mothers can seek child support from one another if their relationship breaks down.

The report also includes recommendations regarding the possibility of adoption permitting more than two legal parents and judicial education on gay and lesbian family issues.

The proposals received overwhelming support from both mothers and fathers in the consultation process. We are confident that these proposals will cover the broadest range of family forms with the least possible fuss. This report will form the basis for the GLRL’s work on parenting reform in the future.

Lesbians and gay men as parents: what the research says

A considerable amount of sociological and psychological research has been conducted over the past 25 years to examine the effect a parent’s sexual orientation has on the welfare and development of their children. The findings comparing lesbian and gay parents to heterosexual parents refute common stereotypes and concerns about lesbian and gay parenting.

It has been clearly demonstrated that the sexuality of a child’s parents has no connection to the child’s moral and cognitive development, well-being or happiness. When comparing children of heterosexual parents to children of lesbians and gay men no significant differences have been found in the social adjustment, social acceptance, or sociability of the children.

Nor has any difference in the children’s peer relations such as quality of friendships or popularity been illustrated. In addition, no discernible differences have been found in the children of heterosexual or homosexual parents regarding a child’s gender role identification or sexual orientation.

The most important factor in a child’s upbringing has been identified as the care and love put into a child’s life. Lesbians and gay men display matched capability at loving and caring for their children as their heterosexual counterparts.

For further information see the GLRL report, Meet the Parents.

Research has shown that family processes, not family structures, are determinative of children’s well being.

That is, the happiness of the relationship between the adults in the home, and the degree of openness, warmth and communication within the family, not the gender or sexuality of the adults, has the most significant impact on the child.

It is not having a gay and lesbian parent that disadvantages a child; it is the government’s discriminatory laws.

How the law affects our lives? A comparison

( Click here ) to read some case studies

What you can do?

The need for reform in this area is well overdue. Many other states and territories their laws so that this form of discrimination is removed. It is time for NSW to cease being the last state for equality.

The NSW GLRL has been long committed to fighting for equality before the law, and lobbying for reforms that will benefit lesbians, gay men and the families that we form.

To help our campaign to change the law you can:

• Send an email postcard to Minister Carmel Tebbutt (Minister for Community Services), Premier Bob Carr and Attorney General Bob Debus. ( click here to send an email postcard )
• ( Contact ) the NSW GLRL and volunteer your time and skills or make a donation to the campaign.

Note: If you are experiencing difficulties with our postcard, ( click here ) to get a copy of the e-mail text.