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RESOURCES

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The Lobby fights discrimination against lesbians and gay men and their children. You can be part of this fight.

If you would like to help or make a donation to our work, please contact us.

You don’t have to be experienced to get involved. You just have to want to make a difference.

Lesbian and gay parenting

Lesbians and gay men have children too

Lesbians and gay men have always had children. Nowadays more and more are having children by formal and informal arrangements such as fertility clinics and donor insemination. A recent survey showed that over 20% of lesbians already have children and many more want to have children in future.

In NSW, not all families have the same rights

NSW has only fairly recently recognised lesbian and gay de facto relationships and this recognition has not flowed through to recognising other family relationships – particularly those with our children. This is true throughout Australia

How does the law differ when a child has a gay or lesbian parent?

A child’s relationship to both parents is usually recognised and both are treated as having automatic involvement in care and in decisions made for the benefit of the child. However, ‘parent’ is usually defined only to include biological parents (with a few exceptions that recognise heterosexual relationships and adoption).

Children do not have legally recognised relationships with a gay or lesbian parent who is not biologically related to them.

For example, a child may be born to a lesbian and cared for by her partner as a co-parent from birth. Legally, the child is not related to the partner. This is so even if she is the main carer. If the partner later has a child and the two children are raised together, the children will not be legally related - they are not recognised as brother and sister.

Problems for parents and children

• Same sex couples cannot both be legally recognised as parents.
• The non-biological parent cannot adopt the child without the birth parent giving up all parental rights.
• Access to donor insemination is not universally available from clinics.
• The Human Tissue Act 1983 (NSW) prevents most gay men from legally donating sperm.
• Adoption is not an option for lesbian and gay couples - although gay men and lesbians are not automatically excluded from adopting as individuals.
• Laws covering superannuation do not recognise the dependency of a child of a same-sex couple when a contributor is a non-biological parent

Some important ways children are disadvantaged

• Discrimination
  Lack of recognition encourages discrimination, including violence and harassment, against gay and lesbian children and the children of gays and lesbians.
• When a parent dies
  If a lesbian or gay man dies without a valid will, their child will not automatically inherit.
  Superannuation benefits also may not be paid to the child and his/her family.
  The child’s future custody and guardianship may be placed in jeopardy. Specifically, a surviving parent who is not biologically related to the child will not necessarily continue to care for him/her.
• When the relationship of parents breaks down
  If the biological parent wishes to retain custody, this will usually be automatic. This may be problematic if the nonbiological parent is clearly more suitable to care for the child or has been the main carer in the past.
  Access after the breakdown of a relationship is usually seen by the courts as a right of the child to maintain a relationship with both parents. However, the court’s failure to recognise the relationship of a child to a co-parent who is not biologically related may jeopardise their continued relationship.